I give any man credit who wants to date a woman with children from another man. It’s not an easy road and it takes a lot of love right from the beginning, but it’s well worth it. But, there are some things to keep in mind when dating a single mom.
- She has no interest or time for games except the ones she’s playing with her kids- A single mom does not want to play games with you. Single moms do not have much interest in playing hard to get or the guessing game with you. She does not want to sit there and guess whether you like her or not enough to put time into her. Either you do or you don’t. It’s always best to be straightforward with her.
- Liking kids is NOT the same as raising kids- A lot of men will say that they love kids, but it is definitely not the same as raising kids. Raising children requires you to be with them all the time, no handing them back to their parents or going home alone to your peaceful, clean and quiet house. Parenting requires more love and patience than you’d ever imagine. It also means driving them to every practice and play date, cleaning up puke and smelling like poop sometimes. Liking her kids is a completely different ball game than raising them. Mostly, we just want someone to love our children and for them to love you.
- Her and her children are a package deal- Dating a single mom means instant “family”. It means that there are exceptions and rules and most likely higher standards. She is not looking for something short term or to go out and party all the time. She has to have a babysitter, so no cancelling at the last minute (if I have a babysitter and you cancel on me, I would be livid). There is no quick, weekend getaways or spontaneous weekday outings. Single moms have to work, pick their kids up from school, take them to whatever activity or sport they’re in, run errands, get home, make dinner, clean, bath time, bed time, laundry, pack lunches for the next day, etc and then do it all over again! Speaking of schedules….
- Throw everything you know about scheduling or not scheduling out of the car window- As a person, I love the being organized, planning and having a color coded calendar on my fridge. As a mom, all of my plans turn to shit. We run late, miss events and forget things at home. Sometimes, my daughter has a meltdown because I told her she needed to wear underwear today, or the dog peed on the floor right as we’re about to leave for dance class, and the list goes on and on. But, there are rare moments when I can say hey let’s go to the movies, want to join us and other times we need to absolutely plan this weekend trip 3 months ahead of time. Please just be flexible and patient, we do try our best!
- She probably doesn’t need to be rescued, but she probably needs a massage and her gutters cleaned- A single mom does everything (for the most part) by herself, she doesn’t need you to come in and take charge or pay her bills. Her and her children have their own way and rhythm of doing things. But, she does need someone to talk to, vent to and someone who makes her laugh and gives her a second to relax. Single moms really appreciate the little things, like when you clean her gutters or put furniture together for her. A massage and a glass of wine goes along way as well.
- You will have to work for it- Dating a single mom is not easy. Sure, there are so many positives to dating a single mom, but dating in general is never easy and dating a single mom is even harder. Single moms have their guard up not just for themselves but for their children as well. They couldn’t bear seeing their child be hurt or disappointed in anyway, so they tend to be rather selective about who their child meets, which means that she’ll be selective about you. Heads up you’ll have to earn her trust, repeat yourself a lot and remind her that you’re not going anywhere.
- We forget to understand your position- Single moms are so worried about life and their children that they forget to stop and think what type of position you’re in. Single moms know it’s not easy and that they come with “baggage” and I’m not talking about my child, I’m talking about my own stubborn ass. But, she is never ungrateful and even if she doesn’t say it all the time, she loves you and what you do for her and her family everyday.
- She loves like no one else- Single moms are in it for the long haul, they will fight with you and be upset with you but in the end they will still stick by your side. Single moms do not quit so easily because when it comes to being a mom, quitting is never an option. With a single mom, you are wanted more than needed. Yes, she needs you to be her partner, but more so she wants you to be her partner. She chooses you. That in itself is something incredibly meaningful.